Being Present and Responsive: Overcoming Challenges for Parents in Under-Resourced Households

Infants and toddlers communicate their needs in many ways.

How Parents Can Support Their Infants and Toddlers, Even in Times of Stress

Raising a child is a rewarding journey, but it also comes with many challenges—especially for parents living in under-resourced households. When families face food, housing, or employment insecurities, daily life can feel overwhelming. For parents, this stress can make it difficult to notice and respond to the cues and clues from their infants or toddlers. Yet, being present and responsive to a young child is one of the most important ways to support their healthy development.

The Hidden Challenges of Daily Life

For parents in under-resourced households, the basic needs of food, shelter, and stable employment are never far from their minds. The worry about paying bills, putting food on the table, or keeping a roof overhead is real and constant. These concerns can lead to mental exhaustion, anxiety, and even depression. When a parent’s mind is focused on survival, it is much harder to notice the small cues a baby gives—like a soft whimper, a smile, or a curious gaze.

NC READS comes along side parents with reminders and nudges to see and respond to their child’s smallest act or sound – often called a “serve”. With intentional and thoughtful responses, parents “return” the serve with conversation that expands on the child’s serve. Parents receive simple text messages with content based on their child’s exact age. Each encourages frequent and nurturing parent-child interactions.

Why Responsiveness Matters

Infants and toddlers communicate their needs in many ways. They might cry when hungry, look at their caregiver when they want attention, or point to something interesting. When parents respond with warmth and attention, children learn that the world is a safe and caring place. This responsiveness helps babies form strong, secure bonds, which are the foundation for learning and emotional health.

Studies show that when parents are responsive, children are more likely to develop strong language skills, self-confidence, and the ability to handle stress. These early experiences shape the brain in powerful ways. But being responsive does not mean being perfect. It means trying, as often as possible, to tune in to what a child needs and to show love and support, even in small ways.

Breaking Through the Mental Barriers

It is normal for parents to feel distracted or overwhelmed at times, especially when life is hard. One of the biggest challenges is the mental load—the constant thoughts about money, jobs, and home. These worries can make it hard to focus on a child’s needs.

Here are a few ways parents can break through the mental noise:

• Mindful Moments: Take a few deep breaths before interacting with your child. Even a short pause can help you shift from worry to presence, letting you notice what your child is doing or feeling.

• Set Small Goals: Instead of feeling pressure to be present all day, try to choose one or two moments—like mealtime or bedtime—when you give your child your full attention. These small moments add up.

• Let Go of Perfection: Remember, you don’t have to get it right every time. Children benefit from your effort and love, not from perfection. If you miss a cue, try again next time.

• Ask for Help: If you are feeling overwhelmed, it is okay to reach out to friends, family, or community resources. You are not alone, and there are people who want to support you.

  
  

Strategies to Be Present and Responsive Every Day

Even in the busiest and most stressful times, there are ways to connect with your child and respond to their cues:

• Talk and Listen: Speak to your child throughout the day, even if they are too young to talk back. Describe what you are doing, ask questions, and listen to their sounds and responses.

• Follow Their Lead: If your child reaches for a toy or shows interest in something, join them. Play does not have to be fancy or expensive—simple games like peek-a-boo or singing a song make your child feel loved and noticed.

• Use Everyday Routines: Bath time, meals, and getting dressed are all opportunities to connect. Make eye contact, smile, and respond to your child’s actions during these routines.

• Narrate what you are doing – talk with you child. “I’m adding salt and pepper to this dish for dinner.”

• Create Rituals: Small, simple rituals—like a bedtime story or a morning hug—help your child feel safe and secure.

• Accept Help from Programs: Programs like NC READS are here to help with reminders and ideas for connecting with your child, right in your daily routine.

  
  

How NC READS Supports Parents

When parents enroll in NC READS, they are not alone. NC READS comes alongside families with frequent reminders and tips on activities they can do with their young child right now, at home. The best part is that these activities require no special materials or trips—everything can be done with what you already have.

NC READS sends free, evidence-based text messages, matched to your child’s exact age. These messages are designed to be easy to understand and quick to do. For example, you might get a tip about how to make bath time special by singing a silly song, or a reminder to notice what your baby is looking at and talk about it with them. These small actions, done every day, can help your child feel safe, loved, and ready to learn.

Making the Daily Choice

Choosing to be present and responsive is not always easy, but it is always worth it. By using simple strategies and accepting support like NC READS, parents—even those facing tough times—can help their children grow strong and happy. Every moment of attention and care builds your child’s confidence and brainpower, setting them up for a brighter future.

Remember, you do not have to do it alone. Every parent faces challenges, but with support, small changes, and daily choices, you can give your child the gift of your presence and love.

*blog written by Bill Fletcher with AI support.